Lessons I learned from My Cat by Marcielle Brandler
My cat, Sylvester doesn’t accept any petting for which he is not in the mood. I have often felt obligated to “pet” others when I haven’t felt like it, for fear of displeasing them. Sylvester, has no problem giving me a warning nip when he does not want to be touched. I wonder what would happen if I give my friend a “nip” when he interrupts me.
If I scare or accidentally hurt Sylvester, he is leery of me. It has taken me many years to avoid people who hurt me, even if they claim that they did not mean to do that. People can be abusive in very subtle ways, and they will seldom admit that they might be wrong.
Sylvester doesn’t care what my excuse are. I do say over and over, “I’m sorry,” and that does help.
Sylvester and me, 2016.
Sylvester hisses a warning, if I overstep his boundaries. In the human world we often hold in our anger which becomes resentment. I used to add up friends’ mistakes in my mind, resent the person, then break with her. The now-former friend never knew what hit her. I never hiss. I was raised to think that my needs did not matter to anyone, so I assumed they won’t matter to a friend. Not so, I have learned. A real friend cares what I feel. I need to gently hiss more. I did so recently with a male friend who constantly interrupts me, and he is trying to improve. Hey, it works!
My kitty meows for what he wants. I am learning to ask for what I want. Having been afraid to ask for things all my life, has created a habit of trying to do it all myself, but I cannot always do that. Now, I am learning to ask for small things, to test and strengthen my friendships and to give more and more.
I love it that Sylvester lets me sleep until I am ready to get up, whether it’s all night or just a nap, he is quiet and polite. Then, when I awake, he wants his morning petting session.
Sylvester usually comes when I call. He loves to be at my side. If I don’t give him the attention he wants, he turns his back on me. This teaches me a great deal about love. When we love someone, we want to be with her. In my last romantic relationship, the man did not contact me for nine days. This was the second time it had happened, so I broke it off.
Sylvester licks my arm until it is completely licked (Pun happily accidental). I try to pet him until he is completely petted- a pet fest. When he grooms me, he keeps his eyes closed, so he can focus on the job at hand. As I work on a job, I need to “keep my eyes closed” to outside distractions.
When people with big, heavy shoes approach him, he runs away. When I see approaching danger, I have learned to “run away,” and ask questions later. Too many times, when I was a young woman, something was occurring during which I was pondering, This seems wrong, but by the time I had decided that I was right, the situation had already completed itself, and I was in trouble, sometimes big -HUGE trouble. I have learned to follow my instincts, regardless of what the world thinks. People can laugh at our concerns, but they are not to ones who will pay the consequences- we are.
Sylvester teaches me that there is a time for everything, and he is always right on time. I have noticed that, not only do our pets have a schedule, but even the wildlife in our neighborhoods do as well. The possums always emerge from their homes at eleven at night. It never fails. The scrub jay always comes to my porch begging for an almond at seven am. It never fails.
If I cannot take Sylvester for his daily walk, I make sure to play with him. There are many ways we can give others attention. If we cannot do it in our usual way, perhaps we can think of an alternative.
I love to watch Sylvester bathe. He doesn’t have to try to be handsome. He is not self conscious. He doesn’t second-guess himself. He is poetry in motion, as are we.
Sylvester remembers and visits his friends. When we go on our walks, he always stops my neighbor’s door to visit her and her cat. When I try to pull his leash to move him away from her screen door, he pulls back. He has bonded with them, and wants to see them. This teaches me that I need to give my friends my time. I need to reach out more.
Sylvester loves mystery.He is more interested in chasing the string toy, when it is sliding under a pillow and almost out of sight.
This is similar to us humans who are more intrigued with things that are not merely spelled out for us but have layers, deeper meanings, and some mystery.
You can see me walking Sylvester on a leash on You Tube.
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